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Managing expectations
Episode 129

October 20, 2020

There are times in our life where we need to adjust our expectations. There are seasons where we need to push for high achievement, and others where we need to maintain ground and relationships.

Diana Ballard

Mom Training

Managing Expectations

Episode Transcript

The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard

 

Diana:   Hey, ladies. Welcome to The Mom Training Podcast. So, excited that you’re here. Today, we’re going to talk about managing our expectations of ourselves, which is so important for us. especially for our physical health, our mental health, relationships, everything that we do… Not comparing ourselves to others, but enjoying the moment where we’re at and what we’re doing, and being able to manage our household in peace.

 

   So, women are absolutely amazing at being able to manage things. This is why women are so good in business, very good negotiators, good with marketing… We see so many details. We can see them, we can feel them, we can sense them… Women are just absolutely amazing.

 

   Those skill sets, we see it like, “Oh, yeah. Those can be used. We’re so good in business. We’re so good in managing things outside the home.” But I want you to pull it back in to think about what you can do in your home.

 

   This is something that I love watching, with all these women that I’ve interviewed over years and years, that the ones that had the households that were very steady, managed their household well. And that comes with being able to manage your expectations for yourself. Because if we have high expectations of having to hold up to all these standards, all the time, then we’re going to find ourselves in a world of hurt.

 

   Now, I know that there are so many things that we want to work on, so many things that we want to do. I have dreams… We want to feed our kids healthy food and be healthy ourselves… Look great. Feel great. Have a sexy marriage… I mean, there’s so many things… Get out of debt…

 

   But then sometimes, we find ourselves falling short. We have all these expectations of, “Okay, I need to home cook my meals every day. I need to make sure that I always look polished every time I wake up in the morning. Like, “Oh, I got to get ready. Yeah, that’s totally just what I do.”

 

   There’s so many things that we want to hold up, but say there’s moments that are challenging. Say there’s moments where you just feel yourself falling short. Can we still find joy? Can we still have peace? Can we still have fulfillment in those moments where we’re not doing something perfect?

 

   So, I want you to think to yourself, do I have some expectations for myself, that I’m not hitting right now, that are rocking my boat? During these challenging times, during these times that are different for everybody, things are all up in the air… The schooling is weird, going anywhere is weird. Events are not happening…

 

   I mean, people aren’t seeing their friends as much… And do I have expectations for myself that are not realistic right now? Do I need to slow down? Do I need to give myself a break? Do I need to let up a little bit?

 

   So, I’m going to tell you a story about a woman named Carrie. She is one of the most amazing moms that I have interviewed. I absolutely love her. She’s the most powerful, well-spoken… I mean, just very sure of herself, confident, beautiful, great relationship with her husband. Just absolutely spectacular woman.

 

   She had a time in her life where her husband lost his job. And she told me about how she had to manage her expectations. She had to cut back on her spending. She had a lot more time to spend with her husband; trying to support him. Realizing that he was feeling depressed and really down. I mean, her roles increased in that moment, and changed.

 

   They changed from normal life of supporting her husband with going to work, and making sure that he had good meals and clean clothes, and the house was well taken care of, to now supporting someone that needed more support, that emotionally and mentally was really struggling. And that can put a big toll…

 

   I mean, there’s lots of people right now, their spouses have lost their jobs, they’ve lost their jobs. There’s different things like that, and maybe it’s shifting right now to coping more than it is of like very exponential growth, like growing a ton.

 

   So, this right now, could be a time where we pull back on push-push-pushing like we maybe have before and maintaining, and loving people where they’re at. So, that was one of her bits of advice is when things change, shift your priorities. She had to shift her priority to giving her husband more positive attention, and support and encouragement. And helping him feel of worth and finding a new job.

 

   She had to pull back on… She taught piano lessons. She did sewing, she sold baked goods sometimes. Like she had lots of little things that she did on the side that she loved but she had to pull back. She had to adjust her expectations of what was possible for her, and be able to focus on what was most important.

 

   So, when we’re looking at our expectations of what am I expecting of myself right now. Is this the time where I need to kick it up a notch, step up my game, or is this the time where stepping up my game is stepping back and being still and adjusting my priorities to be there for someone in need… Or be still enough to stay in peace so I can be a rock for my family.

 

   So, when you’re looking at your own life right now, I want you to think about the expectations you have for yourself. I’m not saying let it all go. I’m not saying throw it all to the wind. I am definitely not saying that you can’t be growing right now. Grow if you feel like growing.

 

   If you’re not feeling good, if you’re not feeling as mentally and emotionally stable as you want to right now, look at the expectations you have for yourself. What are you trying to uphold? And what can you turn your focus to that is the priority to be able to keep yourself stable and still?

 

   So, we’ve talked a lot about this lately because there’s a lot of commotion. There’s a lot of commotion right now and a lot of it is being able to focus your mind. Focus your expectations and be still.

 

   Look at your expectations that you have for yourself. Maybe do some writing, sit down and really think about it. What am I expecting of myself during this season, right now? And does it need to be adjusted? Do I need to adjust those priorities and be still?

 

   You are enough. You can do this. Now, stand back up and start walking again. We’re going to get through this moment together… And I'll see you next week on The Mom Training Podcast.