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If You're Feeling This, You're Normal
Episode 156

April 27, 2021

There are certain things we come wired with. One is our need to have our own space to make our home. Maybe you're in your perfect environment, maybe you already have exactly what you want and need, but if not, don't give up trying and you'll reach your goal!

Diana Ballard

Mom Training

If You're Feeling This, You're Normal

Episode Transcript

The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard

 

Diana:      Okay ladies, the month of May, we are doing a health challenge in our Facebook group, Dancing Through Motherhood. Go join that group if you want to feel better, you want to have fun, engage with some ladies, get your body moving, feel good, and… cooking tips. It’s going to be so much fun. The month of May is ours, let’s enjoy it. Let’s enjoy Happy Mothers’ Day coming up, so go join the Dancing Through Motherhood group on Facebook, I’ll let you in. Let’s do this together, feel really awesome, and we’ll see you in there.

 

   Hey, mamas. Welcome to the Mom Training podcast. Let me ask you a question real quick. Do you feel like you have the home environment that you want? And I'm not just talking about like, it's decorated. I have my own bedroom. But like, you're in your ideal… Maybe not like you want a mansion. Let's not talk about that at the moment, right? Because maybe that's a goal in your future or whatever, which is totally fine. But are you locked in a small apartment? Are you in a townhome that doesn't have a yard? Do you not have the freedom to make the house your own? Meaning you're renting.

 

   This has been something that has been like ringing at me for the last year or so, with this crazy housing market. So, I know it's an estimate, but I ended up looking at our house that we bought a year ago, maybe a year and a half ago, on Zillow.com. And if we sold our house, at what they said it was worth right now, we literally would make back more than what we owe on this house right now.

 

   And it made me sick. Now, you could be like, “Diana, if you sold your house, you can make so much money.” Yeah, but who am I selling it to, like a cute little family that’s going to be so over their head in debt, for a house that really is not worth that much?

 

   Okay now, we're in Utah. The housing market here is absolutely insane. People can barely get houses. You can barely find places to rent. Like, man, do I feel ever so blessed to have a house, to have a yard, or whatever.

 

   So, over the years of studying moms, one of the big things that I have found, from noticing and talking to other moms, is that there is a need for a woman to have her own spot, to have her own space. And a lot of times, we can make it work with what we're given. We lived in apartments and really small, little places for a long time on purpose, to be able to save a lot of money; my husband went to school for a couple years… It's worth it, to save the money, to not go into debt for certain things, especially with paying for housing and food, with like school and everything, it was totally worth it.

 

   But man, the feeling that comes when you finally have your own spot. When we finally got this house, I said, “Oh, we can decorate it. I can I can make it my own.” I can organize this, how I want to, do the yard how I want to, get a swing set, right?

 

   And you're like, “Diana, you're killing me right now.” I know that there's some people listening right now, and maybe that's you, that like your little heart just drops, because you're like, “I don't have that yet. I don't have that freedom yet to be able to have a place that's like, for sure, mine.” Whether you are renting, or you're in an HOA, you can’t do certain things. Maybe you do have a house, maybe it's a townhome with a really tiny backyard but you really wish you had more, or maybe you're satisfied with where you're at.

 

   But what I found, over the years, is that women need to have their sense of home. Now, I don't care if you have five kids or 20 kids, or one kid, or you don't even have kids, right? Women like to have space to take care of. They like to have a place where they can decorate, that it looks nice, that they walk in and they're like, “Oh, I’m home. I feel so good.”

 

   And it pains me, I literally, yesterday, when after I looked up my house, I just felt horrible for these other moms and wives, and women that are struggling right now to get homes. And it just made me feel so grateful for the spot that I'm at. Like a miracle, that we got this house, really was. It really all found a place. God totally had his hand in it. There's no other explanation of how we got this house. It’s an amazing story, I don’t know if I've told you, in the past podcasts, it's been a while.

 

   But do you feel like you're able to create the home environment that you want? Now, that doesn't mean that you need to feel even more bad about it right now, or that you need to hate your situation. Wherever you're living, if you have a place to live, right now, you are very blessed. Because I'll tell you, there are handfuls of families right now that literally don't even have a place to stay. They’ve gotten jobs in the Utah area, they can't find anything to rent, to buy. Nothing. I mean, it's completely… We have all the people coming over from California, and like just being able to buy everything with cash. Families literally cannot get a home. It is so incredibly sad to me, okay, when people just want a place to live. They just want a place to take care of. They just... They need it.

 

   So, the reason why I'm talking about this today is because, I want you to know that if you're feeling like this major pull of like, “I really want something different. I want to have more space, the ability to organize, to get my system in order as a mom… “  I want you to know that you're normal for feeling that, and not to give up on it. I really do believe that it's like something built into women, that we want to create a home environment. And there are ways that make it easier, having more space, more places to organize, having space for the kids to run around outside, and whatever else it may be. Being able to have exactly what you need.

 

   So, I want to normalize the feeling that you're feeling right now if you're wanting something different. And if you do have a home, if you do have a yard, and maybe you don't want to take care of the yard, that's totally fine. But if you're feeling this intense pull of like, “I really, really want more space. I really, really want a yard. I really, really want more storage.” Just know that this is a piece of you that is beautiful. And as you continue working on taking care of your finances, getting yourself, your family life pulled together, continuing to work on these things will eventually help you get towards that goal. Because it took us a while. I mean, it took us a while to get to where we're at right now. And again, it was a miracle. We had just planed on renting, and all of a sudden, bam!

 

   You just never know when your opportunity might open up. And the more we continue to prepare and be ready for it, the more open we can be to opportunities that come up and like, “Oh, well, this feels right. It seems right. Let's go for it.” And it can be one of the biggest blessings that come into your life.

 

   So, my challenge for you today is one, to create the environment that you can with what you have, and do the best you can to create the life that you want with what you have now. Because that's what's going to help you manifest what you want in the future too... This was a while ago, but when I decided that I was ready, like I wanted a house to take care of, I wanted a spot on my own. I dug in with everything I had, to take the best care that I could of my space that I had, which at the moment was a 600 square foot apartment with five of us living in it. Two bedrooms, very, very small. But I made the best of it. And trying to keep it as clean as I could and love it, and make it a home environment that I wanted. And I believe that part of that played into us getting this house; kind of we got an upgrade with this house.

 

   And so, make the best of what you have, continue to have hope, continue to work on the things that you need to, to help yourself progress in getting a little bigger house. Again, we're not talking about going for mansions right now. Get yourself some space that you can feel comfortable in.

 

   That's like the biggest thing too. I think sometimes, we can have an extreme outlook of like, “Oh, I need this really big house, and that's all I ever want.” But what do you actually need? Like, “Oh, I need more pantry space.” I have this tiny little pantry. I would love just some more pantry space, or one more bedroom for my kid, and a little bit bigger of a yard. Can we work up to that next?

 

   And then continue to have the really big house, the pool, whatever else that you're wanting, be the step maybe after that, or maybe there's another one before that, right? So, keep the hope. Enjoy where you're at. Love it. Know that you're normal for wanting a place that you can call your own. And that as you continue working, and don't give up, things will fall into place, and it'll be such a blessing for you.

 

   So, love your home. Love your family. Praying for you so hard, that you could get the housing that you want, and feel grateful for where you're at now. Have a great day and I'll see you next Tuesday on the Mom Training Podcast.