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Just Make TheDarn Decision
Episode 172

August 17, 2021

What if there were tasks we could take off our list that we COULD predict in the future? Like future birthdays, holidays, vacations, life changes, etc. Could we make a decision super early and knock it off of our list? How much peace would that bring us in the moment? Let’s be our best selves in the moments that matter most by prepping early and just making the darn decision.

Diana Ballard

Mom Training

Just Make the Darn Decision

Episode Transcript

The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard

 

Diana:      Okay, okay, okay, let's talk about this right now, just make the darn decision. I don't know how many times I've caught myself saying that, like in my head, probably. About, dude, just make a decision. Because a lot of times we get caught up in, “Oh my gosh, should I do this? Or should I do this? What should I do today? I… What should I focus on? Okay, what is the best option for this?”

 

  And we've talked about this like, if you think back to October, like me being completely done with Christmas… That was just making darn decision. “What am I going to get this person for Christmas? What am I going to put on their stocking? And I'm going to go buy it right now. We’re going to just get it done and get it over with.”

 

  So, by the time Christmas season actually comes, I'm done. I'm chilling. I can enjoy the season, do other things with my family. Not have to worry about rushing all over, spending a bunch of money in one time, like it's spread out over months periods of time. So, that's just making a decision. That's an easy example for me to show you of just make the decision. Just jump on it, get it done, and then you're stress free. We can find ourselves stressed to the max, and looking anywhere for solutions. But what we don't realize is literally, the answer is with us all the time. And that's just make the darn decision.

 

  Let's talk about a couple areas that might be giving us a stress. It could be like bills or legal paperwork piling up on the counter, “Eewrr...” Right? Insurance stuff, just things that take time. You got to call somebody. You got to switch something around. You got to fill out these forms, whatever… It can pile up… Or a house that explodes like every single time you turn around.
 

  Again, depending on whatever season you're in, like, how old your kids are. You got little kids, like there's toys exploding everywhere. They're getting in the dishwasher. Pulling things out of cupboards. Then you got teenagers. You got teenagers that have their laundry all over the place. Like their room, you're like, “Good heavens… You need to clean that thing.” I mean, there can be a potential mess, that’s happening, no matter what season you're in.

 

  And we always have to be on top of that. A lot of times you look at a mess and you're like, “I just… Man, I don't know if I want to tackle that drawer… If I want to tackle that pile on the counter… Or that whole thing of laundry that’s sitting in the corner of my room, piled on top of two laundry baskets… I got to attack that, but man, that doesn't sound fun.”

 

  Or what about our marriage? Is our marriage, where we want it to be? Is it really romantic? Is it, “We're kind of just like friends”? Is it on the rocks? And where do we want to go with that?

 

  Or finances that are a mess. Where we’re like, “Oh my gosh, I just can't even get in my bank account because I just don't even want to see what's happening”, which is horrible. Please do not do that. Please get in your finances and look at what's happening because again, that's going to open up your mind to be like, “I got to change some things.” If you're hiding from your finances, it probably means you really need to be in them.

 

  There are a lot of reasons why we could be off the rocker. Like, “Oh my gosh, I just… I'm so stressed. I’m like, “Wahh…” There's a lot of reasons why we could feel that way. So, I want you to think about how much stress is caused by indecision, of putting things off. Procrastination is indecision. “Ah… We'll just… I’m just going to… I'm tired. I'm just going to scroll social media or watch my favorite show…  And oh, you know what, I'll just watch one more. I don't really want to get to the dishes. I mean I'll just do this over here… I… I…” It’s indecision. Procrastination is indecision like crap, “I… crap. [chuckle] I am being indecisive! I need to take care of that.”

 

  So, hear me out. Deciding to take care of the bills and insurance paperwork, say we do that like one at a time. What if you make a decision that, “Okay, I'm going to pick up one piece of paperwork and do it today and then tomorrow I'll do one more.” Because it's just literally going to sit there, until I look at it and I'm like, “Crap. These are overdue!” or, “I got to do this today or there’s going be a problem. I'm going to get another notice or phone call or something.”

 

  What if I just did one a day? Just took care of one piece of logistical paperwork, today. Made the phone calls that I needed, filled out the form that I needed. And literally, just went and put it in the mail today. Or like, the mess in our house.

 

  Actually, making a decision to declutter and get rid of, tons of stuff; going through and purging. Again, hiring somebody to come and help you, you can find people that will come in for like less than 15 to $20 an hour. And you would be amazed at how… Now, like a professional organizer is very expensive, $150 an hour. Again, if you want one of them, sweet girl. Get them in there.

 

  But literally, I have found with me, that I literally just need someone to be like, “Do you actually use that? Does that look good on you? Do you like it? Can you get rid of it?” “Oh, okay.  [chuckle] Thanks.” I've purged many a times with someone by my side being like, “Why are you keeping that? Are you actually going to use it?” “No.”  “Can you get rid of it?” “Okay cool.”

 

  So, making a decision to get rid of a bunch of stuff, organize something, figure out a different system… Get what I'm saying? Can you make a decision towards how you can better organize your house? How you can purge out a bunch of the crap you don't even use anymore? And how more empowered you will feel when you’re like, “I just got that crap done.”? Yeah, “Like I made the darn decision. And it is done. It is out of here, and I am ready to not waste my time on that anymore.” Because that's really what indecision is. It's literally wasting our time.

 

  Wasting away our time as we sit there and twiddle our thumbs. We try to look for different areas, to do something else, how to waste our time. And really, if we were just to jump in, get it done. Man, one, we’d feel so much more confidence, and two, it would just be done. It'd be off our shoulders, and we’d literally want to get as many things off our shoulders as quickly as possible. Obviously, according to our strength and energy, but be real with me. Do you procrastinate? Do you suffer with indecision sometimes? It's like a daily practice to be able to push yourself. Right?

 

  So, let’s talk about our marriage, how indecision can affect that. I mean, indecision of putting forth the effort to get a babysitter, to have that much needed date, a week. I remember going through a season where I struggled so hard with this. Because finding a babysitter every week was like pulling teeth for me. And that was during that time.

 

  Now, again, fighting the indecision like, “Just make the darn decision.” Just get in a darn babysitter. Swap with someone, do what you need to, because it is more important for me to have that date with my husband, than for me to go through the, “Oh, I don't want to talk to somebody about it. I don't want to ask t them again…“ There are ways guys. There are ways to figure it out. And a lot of times, the Indecision is what screws over; what gets in the way. So, being able to notice that… Or indecision of like, “When am I going to spend other quality time? When am I going to be intimate with my husband?” Make a decision. Make it happen.

 

  And then with our budgeting, like being indecisive about actually putting a budget together. Meal planning, budgeting around our food… Or being disciplined to stop spending online.

 

  I have friends very close to me that really struggle with that. And I’m sure you might know somebody that just, their house overflows with so much stuff because they're just online buying stuff all the time. That's a soft addiction. We've talked about that in the past, on the podcast, that soft addictions are like spending habits… A shopaholic - someone that just always has to have more stuff. Like that's their high. It's a soft addiction.

 

  So, let's focus on where we need to be decisive… Where we need to just make the darn decision to, “We're just clearing this out. This whole section of the garage, it's either going to find a place in the next two days, or we're having a garage sale.” Just doing it. I don't know about you, but a lot of my decisions like that, usually come when I'm so fed up that I'm like, “You know what, we’re just done. Let's just… I got to go through this.”

 

  I just went through my clothes, purged out so many of my clothes, I'm like, “Oh my gosh, I have 10 shirts. Like casual shirts. I have 10 casual shirts and like five dress-up shirts that I really like. And I have like a bunch of casual dresses because I love wearing dresses. They're so comfortable and they're so easily. You don't have to match anything, just throw on the darn dress. And then I have my dresses that are really nice.

 

  But I just went through and purged my closet but that came with being like, “I'm done. I am so done with this. I don't ever wear this shirt…” And then it just like ignites this thing inside of me that I'm like, “I'm purging it. I'm getting rid of it.” Like a whole humongous box of clothes, “Goodbye. See you later.” I’ve never liked that shirt I just worn it because it was comfortable, or it fit okay, but I didn't really like it, it's gone.

 

  When are you the most decisive? I want you to notice that. When is it like, “You know what, we're going to get this done and it’s going to be done right now.”? Is it when you feel a little flame? Is it when there's some pressure? Can we make decisions without having to have a little flame or a little pressure? Of trying to look ahead, trying to be prepared for something…

 

  Going again, back to the example of Christmas. There was not like tons of pressure on me to get Christmas done. I mean, I could have waited longer, but I put my own pressure on of like, “I just want this done so I can enjoy the season in the future.” It wasn't like, “Oh my gosh, the deadlines tomorrow! Christmas is this week, I got to do it!” That's pressure. Does that make you make decisions? Is that when you're like, “Oh my gosh, I have to figure this out. What am I going to do? I'm going to sit down and figure it out but man, I'm super stressed because the deadlines in three days.”

  The goal is to try to make those decisions before you're at that moment where you're like, “Oh my gosh, it’s here! I got to do it right now!”  Let’s try to prevent some stress for ourselves… Of a kid's birthday party. It’s going to be in three weeks or a month from now. What's the difference between you deciding right now, when you're like chilling, there's no pressure? What present you're going to get them? What kind of cake, you're going to make? You get what I’m saying?

  Making the decisions early is going to save you so much stress. Because when we are decisive, when we can make decisions, and then actually make them happen, it gives us so much freedom. So much freedom, and so much less stress, and that's our goal. We want to prevent as much stress as possible.

  So, just make the darn decision, mama... Figure out what you want, what you need to do and get it done. And you will have so much more peace so much more freedom in your life. I'm excited for that for you.

  I hope you have a great rest of your day. You're a great mom. And we'll see you next Tuesday on The Mom Training Podcast.