October 13, 2020
Be Still and Confident
The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard
Diana: Hey, ladies. Have you gone over and gotten the Dancing Through Motherhood course? Where we dance and enjoy motherhood while we’re cleaning and we’re cooking and doing that laundry. Come and learn some tips and tricks to take care of yourself, to feel good, enjoy motherhood while you’re cleaning your darn house. It’s something we all got to do. Right?
So, why not come and dance with us, enjoy it and have some fun. So, go to DianaBallard.com click on our free Dancing Through Motherhood course and get yourself signed up. Totally free. Use the coupon code MOTHERHOOD to get it 100% free.
Hey, momma. Today, we’re going to talk about our emotional and mental health. That is our Mom Training topic, that we’re talking about. Our foundation topic where in Mom Training, we have five foundation topics: routine, organization which is like creating order, money management, health and nutrition which you know self-care is in that. Relationship and communication and then emotional and mental coping.
And I feel like emotional and mental coping is not spoken about as much as it needs to be because… I mean, if you look at the world right now, with so many people that are struggling on antidepressants, anti-psychotic and anti-anxiety medications, there needs to be more conversation about how to take care of your mental health. How to take care of your emotional health and that they’re two separate things.
To be able to have a balanced mind, and be able to control your emotions is like one of the biggest skill sets that you could ever work on and master, so that when hard times come, when they continue to come, when you get blindsided with a new surprise… Things aren’t going exactly the way you want them to, that you can figure out ways to help your mind to be stable even in those moments, to be still.
So, that’s the main thing we’re going to talk about today, is how to be still. When there is commotion all around us, when there is problems, when there’s pain, when there are surprises, how do we keep our mind still?
And this is a skill set, to be able to… When high emotions come into your life or they have the potential of taking over your life. Moments come where your emotions can spike and if you’re anything like me, high emotions bring trouble. They bring trouble with emotional leading. It brings trouble with not being so nice to my family. It brings trouble of not getting enough sleep or just feeling like crap.
It’s not worth it. I don’t like feeling that way. So, when those big moments come, what is your reaction or your response?
Now, you could say that being still is a reaction. Like, “Oh, my gosh! Okay. I’m going to be still.” But I think that being still is more of a chosen response of, “Okay, that hit me, and I had no idea that that was coming. And I’m going to just choose to be still.”
Now, what that looks like is our ability to not let our emotions go up or down, to be able to flatline is what I’ve called it. To be able to flatline your emotion to be in the moment. To be still in the moment of, “Okay, I’m not going to freak out.” I’m not going to have my emotions with me back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth and it sucks. But I’m going to choose to flatline my emotions, to be still in how I feel.
And one way that we can do that is to practice it on a regular basis. You’re like, “How do you practice being still?” You got to learn how to master your own mind, which then leads to your emotions.
So, I’m going to share a thought with you… So, my husband is about to leave to boot-camp. We don’t even know exactly when… Or basic training, I should say. He’s going to the Air Force Reserves. But he’s going to be gone for a while. And I had been talking to people about it and they had just been feeding me the craziest negative stuff about, “Oh, my gosh! Yada-yada-yada…” About, “Oh, my gosh! I could never do that because this and that… la-la-la…”
And I had internalized what this new situation was going to be like from all these negativities that was coming in. And I had no stillness in me. Like this period right here, like before… Even like the last podcast, me talking about building a sanctuary was because I had to build a sanctuary because my stress level was so high, and I had no idea how to bring it down.
I was sleeping. I was eating well. I was doing all these things. I was taking moments for myself. I was taking baths. I was doing all this stuff and for some reason, my stress level was the highest it’s ever been in my entire life. Just, I mean, every ounce of my body was full of just the crappiest feeling in the world. Just cortisol all through my body.
And what I found out, after talking to a couple of friends, it all clicked together, was that my situation had been created in my mind of what this new moment was going to be like and I completely gave up my power. I completely just… Without even realizing it, became a victim of circumstance.
And I had no idea that was even the cause of just… So concerned and worried and anxious about, “Oh gosh, my husband’s leaving… I just can’t… I don’t even know… Am I going to be okay? Is it going to just totally be like this disastrous thing? Like uhhh…”
What I found out was that, one, I am 100% capable of getting through this moment. Being prepared. I’ve been preparing the crap out of things. Maybe I’ll share that with you in another podcast.
I have been doing a ton of things to get ready. I’ve done stuff like this before. I’ve had challenging moments before, that I’ve gotten through, and just sailed through. And enjoyed it. Learned when I needed to… And I can get through this moment too.
Oh, and so, after talking to my friends, I’d realized that I had been letting people feed my mind. I was letting things into my mind that were not going to help me create the positive result that I wanted.
Once I realized that, that – Oh my gosh, I’m just letting people’s fears and doubts in my mind and not standing up for myself, being like, “No, I can do this.” Being my own advocate for my mind and my abilities. “I’m capable. I’m confident in this.” And by doing that, it created a stillness inside of me, that I have not been stressed since.
I mean, it went from so extreme stress that I was like, “This is so unhealthy for my body. I can’t even deal with this right now.” Like this is not healthy for my body, and to be stressed that bad for a long time.
And the instant that I decided that I was going to believe in myself, and that I’m 100% capable of getting through this up coming moment, whenever it comes… That’s part of the craziness, is the unknown…
I feel like I could take it on now. Like bring it on. Let’s do it, because I believe in myself. I believe in my capabilities. And I am confident in the fact that if something sucks, I’ll figure out a way. I’m going to prepare the heck out of my house, my situation, everything that I’m doing, and it’s going to rock and it’s going to be fun. And it’s going to be a good experience for me.
So, when we’re trying to be still, we have to have hope in our situation. We have to believe; I can get through this. Say it after me, right now, “I can get through this.” Because you can. You will and can get through this moment. Any hard moment that we have, “I can and I will get through this.”
I believe in myself. I will be still. And I will continue to take one tiny step at a time. Because that’s another thing that I found with being still is, you might have to move a little slower, you might have to stay off social media that might spike your emotion and push you over the edge. You might need to not talk to somebody that might push you over the edge.
Being still is a controlled mindset and skill set that will bring you peace, in turbulent times. So, as you’re going through your day, think about, how can I be still? How can I bring my high emotions, the low emotions, whatever, that are moving me right now that are affecting my body, how can I be still?
Remember that you are powerful. Remember that you are influential. Remember that you have the best job in the world as a mom. I believe in you. You can do this.
Be still. Be still. Be still. And hold your ground, no matter what comes into our lives, whatever future events come… Be still. Be still. Be still.
We’ll see you next Tuesday on The Mom Training Podcast.