We Can’t Wait
November 10, 2020
When hard times continue, we have to look for joy around us even if the storm continues to rage on.
We Can't Wait Any Longer
The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard
Diana: Okay, if you’ve been on the fence about checking out Mom Training, you better be looking for that Black Friday and Cyber Monday deal for Mom Training. We’ve never had a sale like this before. It’s a perfect way for you to try it out, with no risk… And be able to see if you like it. Join it, and we’d love to have you with us.
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Okay. So, remember that time when you were really good at what you did? [chuckle] Meaning, like back before all this pandemic stuff happened, and just all this craziness. Remember when you were completely on top of your game, maybe you're like, “I don't know if I was on completely on top of the game…”
But there were things you were doing darn good. Things were flowing, things were happening. I mean, obviously, we have places that we fall short in, that we struggle in, that we need to work on. But have you found yourself struggling to keep up your same standards of taking care of the home? Taking care of your household? Taking care of yourself? Maintaining good relationships with your spouse or your children?
Have you found yourself struggling? Have you found yourself being like, “Wow, I’m just fine, that was not the best thing I've ever done [chuckle]”?
So, I've talked about this a little bit on my social media, and just sharing some things in my own life about just not being on top of my game right now. And being real about that because I think people can try to be like, “Oh, I'm the strong one. I'm not struggling. None of this stuff is affecting me.”
Yeah. I mean, I agree with that to a point. Being a leader, being even a leader in your home, you want to be strong. You want to put the best foot forward. You want to stand up for the people that you're leading, that are in your home, that maybe are following your business, or your social media following, or whatever.
But that doesn't really work all the time. Because it makes it seem like you're the only one that doesn't have their crap together. And there definitely are different levels of people having their crap together or losing their crap. And it is okay, that we might not be on top of our game right now.
So, two areas I want to focus on today involves you and one other person. And I mean, we could go into details with our kids, we could go into details with other relatives, people on social media, whatever. But there's two relationships I want to focus on today. About how are we doing in that area?
So, first one is our relationship with our spouse. And in the next couple of weeks or so, I'm going to do an episode on dissecting how we have responded to this crazy year of 2020, and how to turn that around. And our marriage relationship is definitely one of them that has, I guarantee, taken a toll from all this stuff.
No matter how prepared you are, no matter what training that you've had before, this has been a stressful time on marriages in a lot of different ways. So, maybe you have not been in your best behavior with your spouse, and you might feel bad about that. You might be like, “Oh my gosh, have I totally messed it up?”
Look, first of all, every single marriage, right now, has struggled from this. I mean to different degrees, obviously. Some we've seen have ended in divorce, right away, when this stuff went down in March. And there's other relationships that have stayed stronger, that rode the wave of struggle and trials. And trying to figure things out together when things have fallen apart.
If you are struggling with your relationship, maybe you’re not being strategic with your communication, or not spending as much time together, which is so weird because you’re in the home all the time together. But when there’s a minute, you’re separating and doing other things.
So, maybe that’s something that you’re not on top of your game on. And maybe it was something that you struggled with before anyway. But now, it’s even worse because of this year, 2020. We’ll just say the year 2020 was an interesting time.
So, what can we do? What can we do? … Which leads into the second thing that I want you to think about, is your mindset and what you are putting in your mind. Because your mind is helping create the reality of what your marriage is like, what you're feeling right now. And your ability to work, or focus, or be good at something, stay balanced.
And without working on our mindset, literally everyday right now, it needs to be such a daily focus. Because our minds right now have a lot in them. Our minds - it's really hard to focus and be good at certain tasks that we maybe have been really good at before, when our mind is so occupied with literally survival, or fear, or being anxious about the future. And what's going to happen?
What next is 2021 going to throw at us?
So first, give yourself a break. Give yourself a break… Give me a break. Right? Because this is all new stuff. This is all brand new that none of us have navigated ever before. And especially, being a mom, where we're in charge of making sure that other people are taken care of and making life better for other people, or surviving with other people.
So, with our mind filled, occupied with I mean, literally, basic human needs of survival and wondering what's going to happen in our life. Our own safety, or are we going to have enough preparation, or food, or money, or a house over our head anymore?
It is challenging to focus on things that are important. It is challenging to focus on our marriage, or being kind, or taking care of ourselves. Or staying off social media which is feeding all of those negative things that we're feeling.
So, I'm going to give you a little assignment to work on. And that assignment is to think about the things that are on your mind a lot, which is, what's going to happen in the future?... Just the things you're thinking about, the things you're concerned about, nervous about, write them down and creates a different mindset on the other side, that's positive.
Because if we don't address our emotions, if we don't address what we're feeling, and counteract that and get some hope, back the other way, then it's really hard for us to occupy our minds with things that are productive, or that make our relationships better, or make us feel better.
So, figure out the things that are in your mind that need some help. And again, it’s not your fault. You're not alone in this. But it's time to start having a healthier mind right now. I am just convinced that I don't know when all this stuff is going to end and I've been waiting long enough. I just can't keep holding off anymore. If that makes sense.
It’s like we don't know when everything's going to calm down. We don't know when things are going to go back to “normal”. So, we have to be able to start becoming more resilient now, and adjusting our mindset to changes. And trying to create our sanctuary at home, finding purpose in what we're doing in the home and with our family and enjoying that.
And trying to focus on what we do have, what we can do, what we do have control over, because there's a million things, we don't have control over right now. There's a million unknows. And you know what, that’s okay. You are capable of thriving in this time where there's chaos or storms around you. Because it's time to stop waiting.
We can't wait any longer. Mommas, we cannot wait any longer. We have to find joy now. Joy, in the journey, joy in the storm, joy with whatever else is going on.
So, I invite you to disconnect from the things that are feeding your fear. Disconnect from the things that are feeding your concerns, your anxiety that are making you feel like crap when you're done. But for some reason, you just can’t not touch it. Trust me.
That the election week, I was on social media more than I ever was in my entire life and I hated it. But I couldn't get off of it… I know what you're going through. I know what it's like I'm right there with you.
When things are challenging, when things are unknown, it's hard to not want to know what's going on, what you can do. How do I prepare?... You know, yada-yada-yada. But when it comes down to it, after that week, I realized, you know what, that was not worth it. It was not worth my time and I cannot waste another week. I cannot let another week go by where I'm not working on loving what I have, right now.
I won’t do it. I won’t do it.
I’m going to do everything I can to counteract my fears, my concerns and tried to turn my focus more to what I do have, what love is here, what joy is here, and how I am blessed. I'm not saying I’m ignoring things, but I also can’t have it consume me, and neither can you.
So, know that you're not alone, that we will get through this, whenever it ends. But it's time to start finding joy, right where you’re at.
If you want some more tips on this, want to connect, I am starting a newsletter, which will be pretty fun. We’ll have different things included in it. Go over to DianaBallard.com and sign up for the newsletter, and get on there. I would love to see you in our group.
I hope you have a great rest of your day. Focus on what’s important. Focus on what you do have. Focus on joy. And we'll see you next episode on The Mom Training Podcast.
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