How Goals Prevent Stress

Episode Transcript

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The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard

 

Diana:      Okay ladies, the month of May, we are doing a health challenge in our Facebook group, Dancing Through Motherhood. Go join that group if you want to feel better, you want to have fun, engage with some ladies, get your body moving, feel good, and… cooking tips. It’s going to be so much fun. The month of May is ours, let’s enjoy it. Let’s enjoy Happy Mothers’ Day coming up, so go join the Dancing Through Motherhood group on Facebook, I’ll let you in. Let’s do this together, feel really awesome, and we’ll see you in there.

 

   Well, I got to throw this in here real quick. For the month of May, you can join Mom Training for $1 for your first month. Check it out, see what it's like. Come, give it a try ladies. Come learn some things that are going to make your home flow so much more successfully, and enjoy the life that you have right now. Come over to DianaBallard.com, sign up for Mom Training for $1... $1 for the first month. Come try it out. And we'll see in there.

 

   Hey ladies, this is the second week in our health challenge in our Dancing Through Motherhood Facebook group. So, we’re going to kind of take a different twist, and spin on your emotional mental health, and what that can look like. The reason we’re talking about this is because I have come to the realization myself, that it is time for me to create new family goals. Because the goals that I made, before getting married, I’ve accomplished. We’ve arrived. We’re here. And I realized that recently and I’m like, “Oh, okay.”

 

   I wanted a little house. I wanted a little family. I wanted to marry James which was my best friend. I wanted a certain amount of kids. I wanted chickens. I wanted a dog. I wanted a garden. And I got it all now… Which is a blessing… Which is wonderful. Like, “Holy crap!” It’s amazing what you can do when you manifest in your life, and you work on it, and you focus on it. Don’t give up, and believe in it.

 

   But I’ve recently come to the realization that I need to create different family goals to reach for in the future. And then we can reach those and let’s move on to the next one, and create some more. So, one of the goals that I really want to create in my family and in my home is, I want my kids to feel comfortable inviting their friends over and having fun. Creating an environment where they all want to be. Because there’s lots of things that kids and teenagers can do with their free time, and I would rather have an excellent entertainment room… you know, ping pong, trampoline, something that they can do outside. Or just even them feeling comfortable that they can come out and hang around the kitchen. Sit around the table and chat, and it’s no big deal if I’m walking in and out… Or, “Hey, do you want some popcorn?” Different things like that.

 

   Like trying to create an environment where my kids can come in and create a safe place for these growing children, who will grow on to teenagers who will grow on to young adults, will feel comfortable coming over and being around. And making a place that is uplifting, is wholesome, is positive. And that it increases my chances of being an influence in their life if they’re in my home with my kids and their friends.

 

   So, this is one of my goals that I’ve started to create for myself, and honestly, it took a little bit of time, because, you know, it’s a lot. In the beginning, it felt like a lot, about creating that environment, and the responsibilities that come with that; the different people in your house, the noise levels, especially with my kids being little. Different things like that. But there’s a higher goal here. There’s a bigger purpose than even my excuses or the things that might have made me uncomfortable for a little while.

 

   And that is because I do, I want more influence on my kids’ life. So, I want them around me more, so I can be that support for them, or they feel comfortable being around me and bringing their friends around. That just opens up so many doors for positive things. Not that I’m going to hang with them every second. I’m not going to just like peeking around the corner or have a video camera on watching them. Let’s not be psycho, right? But them kicking it in the basement, watching a movie, or playing games, or outside having a mini barbeque, or things like… Just to be around. Just to be around them, is what my goal is.

 

   And so, I’ve been trying to think of how I can create that environment now. My kids are six, almost four, almost two, and I’m about to have a new baby. My kids are young. But in my opinion, it’s never too early to start working towards a goal like that. It’s never too early to start creating the environment you want now.

 

   So, this is going to sound really silly, but my daughter, a couple of days ago… or last week, I should say, decided that the next day was going to be her doll’s birthday. Her doll, D-O-L-L; her dollie. And that she wanted to… She started making decorations, and party hats, and just planning this huge party she was going to do for her doll, and that she wanted to invite all of her friends. In the beginning, I was like, “… No. I don’t have time to help you put on a birthday party for your doll.” It’s a doll.

 

   But she was so excited, and so I was able to shift my mindset, and say, “Okay, this is the first step in her envisioning, and hosting her first event, her first invitation, her first party. Besides, maybe her birthday party, which I help initiate. This is her thing, she wanted to invite three of her friends. They wanted to have popcorn and Capri-Suns, which we already had which is why I agreed. And she wanted to make a cake, and I said, “Okay, let’s make a little cake.” And so, we did. Her friends came over and it was a wonderful time.

 

   What changed my whole mindset with that was that this is the first moment of creating that environment that I want, where her friends feel comfortable; they want to come over. When they come over to my daughter’s house, they have fun, a happy mom is greeting them, most of the time. If they’re fighting, I’m going to get on them. I’m going to say, “Hey, that’s not okay.” But the majority of the time it’s like, “Yo, you guys are totally welcome here. I’m really excited… You guys go have fun. I’m just going to be there in the distance. I’m not going to be up your business. You guys go play.” But I’m there.

 

   So, that was the first moment of me, taking that goal, and making it a reality. Making a reality that this is 100% possible. I can create this, and I can do this. And I’m starting to see it already manifest, from one choice. I want you to see, how easy it can be for you to make a family goal and then start figuring out ways to make it happen, to make it possible, to make it a reality.

 

   So, what are your family goals?... And having those goals is what is going to bring you the fulfillment that you’re looking for. It’s those goals that are going to prevent stress, and anxiety, and depression in your life. It’s those goals that are going to drive you through the hard times, push you out of your comfort zone, and create joy and beauty like you never imagined in your life.

 

   If you find yourself struggling, emotionally and mentally, what goals do you have? Are you focusing on them? Are they specific? Are they something tangible that you can start to create right now? A goal of, “I want my family to be together. I want them to be unified”. Break it down. Break that goal down. What does that look like to you? What does that mean to you? And make those goals too, and start being able to work, one at a time, towards accomplishing those littler goals of, “I want to have dinner together even like twice a week.” Maybe there’s lots of things are going on… Like this day and this day, we’re going to have dinner together, and you got to work towards that. Or maybe, once a week, we’re going to have game night together. Or once a week, we’re going to spend this special time; go do an outing once a week. It can be something small like that but as you start making those tiny goals you, oh, my gosh, will feel so much better when you’re starting to see what you want become true. And I totally believe it’s possible for you, it’s possible for me, as it’s possible for the lady next door.

 

   So, protect your emotional and mental health by having a direction to move towards. Have that direction that’s going to push you to the next step for you. If you’re feeling stuck, you’re feeling, “Oh, my gosh, I just don’t know what to do with my life…” Set a goal. Start moving towards it, and there you’ll find your true fulfillment.

 

   Go join the Dancing Through Motherhood Facebook group. We’ll see you guys in there. Continue to join us in the health challenge. There’s the free Dancing Through Motherhood Course you can get as well. And we’ll see you next Tuesday on the Mom Training Podcast.

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