The Unexpected Curveball
June 29, 2021
What happens when life throws you a curveball? Not just any curveball, but one you least expected and knocks you flat on your behind? How do we cope with these moments and not let them drag us down?
The Unexpected Curveball
The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard
Diana: Hey ladies, welcome to The Mom Training Podcast. I have no voice at the moment. I have been so sick for four weeks now. This podcast is going to be posted in a week, so this is a week in advance you’re hearing from me. Hopefully, I will be feeling better by next week.
But with my husband being gone in the military for three months, which he is back, which I'm so grateful for and I need his help right now. And being sick for the four weeks, I’ve used all my resources in the podcast. All my backups. And so that's why you're hearing from me today with no voice. I'm so sorry if it's hard to listen to. I’ll make it short today.
But I want to talk to you today about life's unexpected curveballs they can throw us. There's lots of things that life can throw us that we have to take care of or adjust things. But what happens when those curveballs come that you really had no planning for? I mean COVID. COVID time was like a huge moment of that, you know, grocery stores emptied out, people lost their jobs, instantly. I mean it was such a shock.
Right there was like a huge life curveball, that all of us got hit with in some way or form. It really sucked, right? And I hope that curveball has taught you some things. Of things like, “I'm never doing that again.”, “I'm never having my finances like that again.”, “I never want to be 100% dependent on that next paycheck”, or “I'm never going to have an empty cupboard if I had a need, that I need to have some food set aside”, or whatever. Maybe there's other lessons that you found during that time.
I'm currently getting hit with a curveball, that I never expected. Being sick… And this is been sick, where I could not get out of bed. The first big thing that I had was, I got a bacteria called Campylobacter. And we didn't know this until two and a half weeks into the heck that I was going through - immense abdominal pain, diarrhea, and just I couldn't eat or drink, or sleep, or anything. And I literally, had to have people take care of my kids. My husband was still gone. I had people in my house on the daily because I couldn't do a thing.
And that was such a huge shock to me because you don't prepare for, “What if I'm literally taken out for a month?” What happens if mom is taken out for an entire month or longer? I mean I had never thought of that before in my life. That’s something that I hadn't prepared for.
Now, it's different than my baby's going to be born pretty soon, and I've covered as many bases as possible that I could think of with my business, with family, and getting the help that I need for eight weeks after the baby's born. And I feel pretty confident in that.
This was a curveball that I did not expect. This being sick right in the middle of my nesting period. I was getting everything ready for baby, haven't done a single thing. I had to cancel all my business stuff which is so humbling; refund months of Mom Training. I mean it's been bad. It's really taught me some things that we can be really prepared in one area, and be highly unprepared in another one, that we didn't even know we needed. So now, I'm going to be working on preparing for moments like this. Like if I have a really sick kid or there's an accident. I get really, really sick again.
I'm currently fighting COVID, which is been horrible because the bacteria that I had, literally, drains your immune system and your gut health. So, I'm literally, like an immune-compromised and pregnant person that is having COVID right now. And so, it's been very harsh on my body. My whole family has it, but they're almost better. But I am still very much struggling. Today is like day 11 or 12 of this for me. And again, I'm knocked out. Completely knocked out.
My husband is unable to work, he has to take care of the kids. It's absolutely insane. And it really made me also realize how much us as moms, are in charge of.
For when mom gets taken out of the picture for a little while, man, there’s some things that suffer. Things that normally have flowed smoothly, or not being able to feed my family, keep clean clothes on their bodies, making sure they're having the nutrients and vitamins they need to heal too. As well as take care of myself when I'm down and out.
It's just amazing how much us moms do on a regular basis. That also opened my eyes to, holy crap, there's so much that depends on me to keep running, to keep moving. And yes, we're surviving, we're getting through it. But definitely, the normal lifestyle that we're used to living has suffered.
So, when this kind of moments hit us, what is it that we need to focus on the most? And so, I'm going to give you a couple of tips that I've been doing during this time that has really helped me get through this moment, that’s completely knocked me off my horse, very unexpectedly. And it’s still continuing to help me through it today.
When these big moments happen, I feel like the number one thing that us moms need to focus on is our self-care. Because if we don't have any energy, if we don't have any, any bit of focus at all, then it's really challenging for us to get things moving again, or at least functioning enough that we're still in survival mode, but people are getting fed, clean clothes most of the time. But focusing on making sure that we're getting what we need, as a mom, whether that'd be health or rest or nutrition, or sleep, that we really, really put a focus on that.
Second is being able to try to live day by day. And it's hard to not to try to focus on the future, like when is this going to change? Or when am I going to get back to normal? When am I not going to struggle with this anymore? Which are totally human ways of thinking and I've been there.
There have been spats of major anger, on my side, of like why is this happening right now! Why am I not getting better? Just being upset. Those are normal human emotions. And we're going to feel those, but staying there is where it's not going to necessarily help us to feel better.
So, feel those emotions when you feel them. Let them out if you need to, to the right place and person. But remember that this is also a temporary thing that we're going through. And depending on the severity of things, or what's happening, realizing we won't always feel this way.
Life won’t always be stuck in this moment, there will be more moments of hope, and of help, and of faith, and feeling good again after this moment. In thinking back, of all the things that we've lived through, and gotten through that have been challenging. And again, that is easier said than done. And literally, takes a daily thought process change, because it's easy to get stuck in victim mode.
I felt that the last four weeks of like, I literally, there's nothing I can do and completely out, and that was very frustrating. So, acknowledge if you're feeling that way, but also try to focus on the new horizon that will come. Maybe we can't see it, but eventually, the good times will come again.
So, if you're struggling right now. If you're going through a curveball that hits you so hard, and it's knocked you so hard, and it’s knocked you so out, just realize that you're amazing. Take care of yourself, and try to focus on the now. Doing what we can, just literally sometimes, survive just today. Take care of what's important of just today, and with one step at a time, we'll be able to pull ourselves out of this unexpected hard moment, and hopefully be able to create something better on the other side, and just to have some relief.
If you're struggling, I feel you. I'm with you. And we can get through these moments, these hard moments together with the people that love us and are close to us. And as we ask for help, as we reach out, as we seek counseling or medical professionals, we can get better. We can work through these things. And we'll see you next Tuesday on The Mom Training Podcast.