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A New Mindset
for Messes

Episode 174

August 31, 2021

Keeping up a household, no matter who lives there, what ages, or how big or small your area is, there’s going to be areas that consistently need help and attention. It can feel a bit overwhelming to tame the ‘house monster’ every day as it continues to create messes from one corner to the next. Let’s see if we can reframe our view of these messes to not have them stress us out while creating a plan, including everyone involved, and cleaning it all up.

Diana Ballard

Mom Training

A New Mindset for Messes

Episode Transcript

The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard


Diana:    Okay, as you’re listening to this right now, I want you to stop, and I want you to look around. Now, maybe you’re driving… Even if you’re driving, look around yourself right now. Look in the floor of the car, on the seat of the car, look around the consul… If you’re at you’re house, then around on the floor, on the counters… What do you see?


  Maybe your house is sparkling clean, or maybe you’re seeing like, “Oh, I need to clean that up. Wow, you really brought that to my attention right now.” Or maybe, you’ve already known. Maybe you were like, “Okay. I have known this mess is here and I need to take care of it.”


  Now, again, according to whatever season you’re in, could show you what exactly how clean your house is. I remember walking in to someone’s house, where all their kids were out of the house and it’s just spotless. And you’re like, “Why can’t I keep my house as clean?” I mean, their toilet, you could almost see your reflection in the bowl of the toilet. It’s so clean, and wow, there’s not one inch of dust in that corner. And wow, there’s no finger prints on the window.” Well, you think?...


  I mean, whoa… Let’s kind of take a step back right now. We’ve talked about what season are we in, and realizing, “Okay, I can wash that window every single day, but it’s the kids’ favorite window to watch the road from our house. And those sticky little fingers are constantly just all over that window.


  So, you know what, I’m going to let go that my window right there, and that window over there may have finger prints on it all the time.” Because I’m not going to become obsessed and clean that window every single second when I see a finger print because it comes right back.


  So, I want you to try to see the mess around you in a positive way. You’re like, “How can I see the mess? How can I see just…?” If I literally don’t sweep, two to three times a day, how much crap piles up? Especially, when you have little kids and they eat… They make a mess. Literally, two to three times a day of sweeping is the only way that someone’s floor might stay 100% clean all the time.


  Sometimes, we get distracted. We have other things we have to take care off – we’re going to the grocery store… You might forget every once in a while.


  So, sometimes, the mess can really get to us. Like mess really gets to me, I can’t take it. It affects me mentally, to have a mess all over the place. My house has to be semi organized, I would say, depending on, what area. Like laundry sits there for a little bit longer in the corner… That’s not bugging me as much as the kitchen being a disaster or the living room being a complete mess. Like those place I’m in a lot more, and so, it’s like, I need these areas clean.


  A couple of nights ago, I was sitting, I was working on something in the living room on the couch, which I love to just sit on the couch and enjoy the clean living room. But the living room, we had not cleaned up. We had not done our normal cleaning routine. I can’t remember why. Maybe, it was, we were out late or something and we didn’t end up doing our cleaning routine, which we normally do before bed. Make sure all the toys are picked up, or whatever.


  As I sat there, working on something. I was writing about where I’m at in my life. Again, the season that I’m in. What expectations I’m having for myself or whatever? And as I looked around, I saw the mess in a completely different light. Like to my left, there was this tiny coat. I’m like, “Oh my gosh, that’s so cute. It’s so tiny.”


  And then there were dolls, and there were dinosaurs, and there were trucks. And over on the right was a couple of pairs of shoes. There were only like one of each shoe… And how random did that was… But there was the tiny little feet that fit in those shoes. And over on the table was all the Play-Doh stuff that was out, and under that was a bunch of more toys.


  As I looked around, I suddenly was filled with so much joy, and so much appreciation for exactly where I was at because, man, how lucky am I that so much life fills my home. Like everything that I’m seeing right now, every piece of clothing, every toy, every art and craft that was piled on the counter to the side, all symbolized life throughout my house. Extreme and joyful energy that bounced through my house every single day. And whoa, what a gift that is. Whoa, what a beautiful blessing it is that I have life bouncing through my house.


  And that took that moment, and made it into this beautiful enjoyment of seeing these toys all over the place. Seeing trucks across my piano… Which they’re not allowed to have toys on my piano. But there were trucks on my piano, that I actually enjoyed in that moment… The fact that they didn’t put their shoes away, showed me and gave me so much appreciation that their little feet take them all over my house, that they run all over my backyard, that they can walk to my car, that I can scrub those little feet in the tub… And what a blessing that is that I have that I have that opportunity to take care of those cute little feet.


  So, as you look around this mess right now, I want you to think about, what each of those things mean. Are your husband’s shoes where they should not be? Are there tools everywhere, which is the story of my life right now. I’m constantly like, “Honey, can you please take these off the top of the fridge? Or you know, out of this area…” Because he’s constantly working on remodeling our house. Where there’s constant projects, the big stuff’s done but there’s little things that he’s constantly working on… And so, sometimes, I’m like, “There’s a giant tool box in out bathroom, with tools everywhere. These cannot be here.”  “But I’m working on it right now.”


  Again, what a blessing that we have our husbands in our home. And I know some people are single moms right now… And just hear me out that you are amazing. So, if you don’t have a partner, if you don’t have a spouse right now, just know that you’re an amazing mom.


  But as you look around your house and maybe see things that may have kind of tripped you over the edges like, “Okay, I tripped over these shoes being put here, many times”, or “I don’t quite understand why clothes end up right here, instead of where they need to be…” But what a blessing, what an amazing gift that our house is full of energy. Our house is full of a hard worker… The things might be left around but, man, what does that symbolize - what a hard worker.


  Can we work on trying to make sure that things are cleaned up more? Can we have that routine of cleaning up, of putting things back where they belong? Yes. That’s very, very important.


  But when you find yourself getting upset at the mess… And again, sometimes, those are my best cleaning moments, when I get upset, when I’m like, “I am so done with this mess, I cannot even… Can’t even do it. It’s done. We’re taking care of it right now.” Which is about making the decision, and getting it done.


  But, sometimes, it’s good for us to remember that the mess symbolizes life, symbolizes energy and that we have people that we love in our home. What a gift… What a gift, what a gift, what a gift… So, squeeze your family a little tighter. Continue to work on those cleaning routines. Purge out tons and tons of stuff. Trust me, if there’s so much stuff, I just… It’s got to go.


  But love where you’re at… Love the season that you’re in… With the mess as well. And you’re a great mom, and we’ll see you next Tuesday on The Mom Training Podcast.

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