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The Present Moment
Episode 182

October 26, 2021

Sometimes, we can struggle with the future. What will our children be like? Have I spent enough time with them? Will I be able to handle what comes next? We might not have answers to these unknowns. But as we turn our focus to the present moment, we can move towards what we desire, one step at a time.

Diana Ballard

Mom Training

The Present Moment

Episode Transcript

The Mom Training Podcast with Diana Ballard

 

Diana:  Okay. So, one thing that I absolutely love about… Well, I would say love and not love, sometimes. But one thing I absolutely love about being a woman is how emotional we are. You’re like, “Girl, I’m so emotional… [chuckle] I mean, I don’t know… I can get way too emotional sometimes.” 

 

   No, I feel you on that. There are moments when hormones get all crazy, we don’t get enough sleep. I mean, emotions can be out of control. And I know for me, I had to learn and practice emotional regulation for years. Because I am so highly emotional, and I feel things so strong.

 

   I mean even watching movies, I cry every movie. No matter what it is. Like a funny movie… Like if there’s a moment like there’s some triumph… Oh, they won… Man, they are coming together as people… Oh, there’s a struggle… Oh, they made up… I’m a cryer. I feel things and so emotional regulation is something like a real thing in my life every day.

 

   But I’m telling you this because I was in my bathtub last night; my claw foot tub. Chillin’. Having a nice bath. Listening to some music. And I started to think about the future, and my kids, and them growing up, and what I want that to look like.

 

   And I stared to be concerned about if I was spending enough quality time with them now, so that in the future, when they struggle, when they go through problems, when life hits them with hardships… Which obviously, we never want that to have happen to our children. But I mean it happened to us. Our parents had to go through it. It happens to everybody.

 

   But I started thinking about, “Am I spending enough quality time with my kids now?” And I started to cry about it because I was like, “I really don’t know.” I really don’t know exactly what’s needed to build relationship with my kids, now, while they’re young. To be able to have them come to me in the future.

 

   And so, as I sat there and I was emotional for a little while and I thought about things and boohoo… I realized that the only thing I could do right now… I mean, I’m going to strive to learn from other people. I’m going to look for people that have great relationships with their kids as they’re adults and teenagers, and learn from them. So, that’s something that I can do, that’s being productive.

 

   Proactive towards my desire to be there for my kids. But also, something that I can do, right this second, is just plan a time to hang out with my kids tomorrow or just spend quality time tomorrow. Or make them feel important tomorrow… Today. It was night time, that’s why I’m saying tomorrow…

 

   You could wake up in the morning and be like, “Today, I’m going to do it… Today I’m going make them feel important… Today, I’m going to smile more at them… Today, I’m going to say, “You know what, I’m so glad you’re in our family”… Today, I’m going to do this… Today… But for me, it was last night so it’s tomorrow.

 

   So, what can I do?... Like, can I think of something that would help build relationship, with them, tomorrow or today?

 

   And that is something that I can have control over. I can control if I smile at them. I can control if I say to them, “You’re a great little boy” or, “I’m happy that you’re here” or, “Wow, you’re so good at that”… “Did you know that I love you?” That’s something that I can do today.

 

   We don’t know what the future will look like. We don’t know how others are going to choose to respond in the future as well. No matter how well we might have loved them, no matter how much quality time we might have given somebody, we don’t know.

 

   But what I do know is I have today, and I have tomorrow to be able to focus on what I can do, on what relationship I can build. Because that is the gift that I have right now, is the present time. And instead of worrying about the future…

 

   Now, I mean, it was a gift for me, that I kind of worried a little bit for a minute there, because it made me focus on the present. It made me focus on the moment, and saying, “You’re right. I need to make sure that I’m thinking about what do I need to do with my kids. What do I need to do each day?” Even it’s a little tiny thing to help them feel important. Because we can’t control every piece of our life. We know that. We can’t control every piece of our future.

 

   But as we focus on the present, as we focus on the relationships that are literally in front of our face on a daily basis, we’re doing something proactive and productive towards creating the life that we want… Towards being the mom that we want to be and loving our life one moment at a time.

 

   So, let’s bring it back into the present and realize that, if we want good things in the future, we have to give it thought and effort today.

 

   Now, does that mean effort to every single dream that you want in the future?... Right now, in this very moment, in this one very day? … No. You prioritize what’s most important to you, which in my opinion is our family, is taking care of our household, is being financially set. So, that we don’t have to stress. Like taking away those stressors so that we can enjoy those people this moment and the life that we’ve created so far.

 

   So, can we enjoy what we’ve created now? Can we enjoy the faces, the people, the sweet little humans or spouses, or whatever, that are in our home right now? Can we enjoy them just a little bit more? And encourage them, just a little bit more.

 

   And that one drop at a time, that one effort at a time, can create something beautiful in the future. So, let’s be proactive. Let’s be mindful. Let’s think about what’s most important and act on it just a little bit at a time every day.

 

   I believe in you. You’re an amazing mom. You can do this. And we’ll see you next Tuesday on The Mom Training Podcast.